How to Build a Weight Training Habit That Sticks

If you've tried to get into an exercise routine before and it hasn't stuck, you’re not alone. Most women have struggled with this, especially when it comes to weight training.

So in this blog, we’re going to look at why this isn’t your fault, how to figure out exactly what tripped you up (and it’s not because you’re lacking motivation, being lazy, are busy or “not a gym person”), and finally, we’ll go over the step by step process of actually getting into and sticking with an exercise routine, once and for all, so it becomes a natural part of your life that you just do.

Before we get clear on where you specifically went wrong, let’s take a brief trip down the land of weight training for women.

We typically think to ourselves, “I really need to start exercising” when we feel bad. Maybe a mild sense of losing yourself after focussing on our career or having children, or looking in the mirror and feeling completely distressed and frustrated with what we see. Either way, we rarely start contemplating getting into exercise when we feel our best.

Next comes the squeezing your body into tight fitting lycra, to really bring your attention to all the lumps, bumps and softness you wished weren’t there.

Then you’ve got to walk into a fluorescently lit gym, full of already fit people, and be greeted by a person who has clearly never felt as self-conscious as you do in that very moment (which is probably false because many personal trainers, especially women, got into fitness because they felt exactly the way you do in that very moment).

And finally, you have to workout. Maybe you’re in a class with other people doing stuff that feels impossible, which is not only tough on the ego of an accomplished, competent woman (which I’m guessing you are), it can also feel like you’re actually dying, as one does when they’re gasping for air and sweating from the elbows. Or perhaps instead, you’ve completely skipped the weights section and these types of classes on account of finding them too intimidating, so you find yourself paying your hard earned money to run on a treadmill. Going nowhere fast. How thrilling!

So my friend, if you’ve found it hard to stick to a fitness routine, when these are your options, we can safely say, you’re perfectly sane and normal.

Here’s how to change your fortunes and actually be successful on your fitness journey this time..

Build the skill before working towards the result.

I want you to imagine your fitness goal as a destination, the body, the confidence, the energy, the bone density - let’s call it the South of France. Your fitness journey is the road trip you need to take to get there. And since you can’t pay someone to do your push ups, for the sake of this metaphor, on this trip you’ll have to do the driving yourself.

We’re leaning all the way in with this metaphor, so please bear with… if you’ve never been able to stick to a fitness plan, we can guess there’s something missing when it comes to your skill of sticking. Same is true if you’ve never actually managed to get to your road trip destination, we could assume there’s something missing when it comes to your road-tripping abilities.

Either, you crashed because you don’t know how to drive, or the route you took was wrong, under construction or too long for the time you had.

So if you want to make a second attempt at getting to the South of France, you need to know what went wrong the previous times. Remember, South of France is all the things you want from your fitness journey.

Here’s the checklist:

1. Do you know the rules? When it comes to fitness, do you know the correct theory? The fitness version of ‘rules of the road, road signs, the basics of a car’, rules of food and the gym, the basics of your body. 

If not, and you’re still confused about what food you should eat, how much you should eat, what movement does what, how much exercise gets what results - this is where you need to start. You need to learn the rules of fitness and wellbeing, and quite possibly unlearn all the damaging rubbish we’ve been taught since women’s worth was attached to our body size.

2. Do you know how to operate a car, and subconsciously apply all the theory? That is to say, have you learnt the skill of exercising regularly and eating healthy, without having to think about it? 

If not, you need to focus on building that skill. Before you can go on a road trip, or even a trip to the mall, you first drive around a parking lot, over and over, so you learn the skill of driving. The route you take when you’re learning to drive isn’t the same as the route you take to get you to your dream destination. That means showing up at the studio and practicing the basics over and over, before you even think of the physical results you might want to see, because the more comfortable you are with the basics, the easier and quicker it’ll be to get the results you want over time.

3. And finally, if you know how to drive and apply all the theory subconsciously, are you following the right route to the destination you want to go? If you want muscle definition, but you’re only lifting 4kg weights, or if you want to feel stronger but all you’re doing is running, that’s like saying you want to go to the South of France, but all you’re doing is driving to the grocery store and back. You can do it as perfectly as you want, as often as you want, but no matter how many times you do it, you’re not going to get to where you want to go.

So to recap, if you want the results that come from building and maintaining a fitness habit:

• you need to know the rules of fitness, food and your body.

• You need to have the skill of working out consistently.

• And you need the correct map, or fitness programme, to get you to the outcomes you want.

Here’s the step-by-step for how to build an exercise routine

Step 1 : Learn the rules, not a route

For so long, trainers have been selling routes from one place to another. But if you don’t know the rules, the absolute basics, all you’ll ever learn is this narrow, and possibly inappropriate route. In the FOUND nutrition guide, we teach you the basic rules of nutrition, in our Roadmap, we teach you how to build your OWN route, based on your starting point and where you want to go. 

Step 2 : Have a clear, repeatable plan

Don’t just say, I’m going to exercise a few times a week. Be clear about when you will train and what you will do. Put your training days in your schedule and keep them the same each week so you’re not wasting brain calories wondering when you’ll have time to workout.

Step 3 : Make it feel good

This is the biggest mistake people make when it comes to working out (and one that Pilates has cracked perfectly). If you hate working out, you’re not going to stick with it. It’s simple psychological maths - your whole body, brain and nervous system are designed to avoid pain and seek pleasure. If it’s too painful, hard, uncomfortable, loud - whatever - you will avoid it. If it feels nice, looks nice, smells nice - you will want to go back, or at the very least your body won’t fight you that way it does when you don’t like it. 

When it comes to weight training specifically, go LIGHT. And I mean, really light. So many women, who’ve not done any exercise for a long time, start too heavy, and the pain you’ll feel afterwards will not feel good at all. So truly, in the beginning, your only job is to make it feel good. And if you make the mistake of lifting too heavy, and you experience the dreaded DOMS (delayed onset of muscle soreness), remind yourself that it won’t always be this bad.

Step 4 : Start where you are

Similar to lifting too heavy and getting hurt, making your workouts too complex, will also slam the brakes on your progress. If you’re new, focus on getting the basics right. The gym version of clutch control, parking, breaking. Before you think of lifting heavier, you need to get all the basic moves correct - squats, lunges, push, pull, hinge, swing, clean etc.

You’re not just memorising the language, you’re learning how correct movement feels in your body. 

Step 5 : Make sure you have the right map

Once you know the rules, you’ve built the skill of working out consistently you need to stay motivated to keep up with it. The way we do this is by getting what you want from your routine. Otherwise, you’ll become disheartened and fall off track again.

Maybe you’ve been doing Pilates for a while, and it felt amazing at first because you finally proved to yourself that you can enjoy exercise and be consistent. But if you would like to have different results to what you have now, or maybe you just want a new challenge, you need to choose a programme, studio, or activity that will get you the results you want.

You can ask an AI what to do to get the results you want. Say your age, fitness history, current body composition, and the results you want. It will likely create a map for you that tells you what to do. While I wouldn’t recommend asking it for a detailed programme because it’ll be very generic, it should give you a basic plan which you can use to map your path forward.

Step 6 : Focus on Identity, not outcome

People who are consistent with exercise identify with being an active person, or a person who invests time, money and effort into their physical and mental wellbeing. They know how to drive, they trust their ability to operate a GPS, and they know that when they want to get from A to B, they will be able to do it. 

They’re not fixated on rigidly sticking with one plan or another. They can take time off and not feel like they’ve failed. And, when their body changes when they haven’t been as consistent, they understand the rules - if I eat this or do that, this is the result. It’s biology, not evidence of their weak character. 

So from this day forth, stop reinforcing the belief that you’re not a gym person, and start telling yourself, you are a woman who invests in herself and her wellbeing. If that means going to the gym, doing yoga, going to therapy or getting your nails done, that's what you’ll do.

If I can leave you with one final thought, it's that learning the skill of taking care of yourself can feel like a steep learning curve, but your confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and everything that comes with building that skill, are. worth. the. effort.

Because you have this one, precious, finite life and the sooner you can put your self-care on autopilot, the sooner you’ll have more time, energy and creative energy to experience all the infinite possibilities that your one precious life has to offer.

So let’s focus on building the habit, so you never have to focus on it again!